What to do when you are depressed

On August 28,   caused by a human being with maybe  a low  level of intelligence , the inability to  care or the lack of critical thinking or maybe just not giving a damn  my cat Charles was  put in a compromising position and became  injured.  This was something that never  ever should  have happened.  He began to limp on his back paw.  Then  his limp turned into the  dragging of all four paws.   He could not eat by himself,  nor  drink,  or have control of his bodily functions, although he tried valiantly to do all of these ordinary everyday motions.   I tried everything to make him comfortable  fed him, cleaned him and massaged his weakening limbs, thinking all the time that he would heal and the limp which would allow him to be mobile would get all better.  My hope all along would be that maybe things would turn around and he would be his wonderful exuberant fierce  self.   For almost four weeks of this harrowing situation watching him weaken until he finally  passed away.

My heart broke and I became grief stricken. To keep my sanity during this period of time.  I went back to painting.  Something I did professionally as well as turning to during earlier tough times in my life.  Because of financial difficulties I had fallen into a period of time where I could not write or paint, but I began to paint flowers while staying close to my Charles between massages, stroking, making sure he ate and drank water as well as range of motion   exercises.  On September 23 at ten to two in the afternoon with my daughter Nicole at my side we watch Charles begin the end of  a hard tough battle.  It was obvious during the end that he did not want to leave me, even with his strong desire to live, Charles died.   I once again turned to painting and instead of flowers I began a series of painting of my Charles.  At this time I have twenty nine  different portraits of him and am in the process of  a twenty by thirty  canvas of Charles  sitting upright.

He was the most kind , generous , caring cat I have ever met.  He loved me and watched over me.  I believed that he was human and I will believe that for the rest of my life.  I will also miss him for the rest of my life.  Rest in Peace my Charles.  At some time in the future I  will be with you, my mother, and my husband Eli in heaven. Rest in peace to all of you.  Lynne

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This entry was posted on Saturday, October 31st, 2009 at 11:27 pm and is filed under artist. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.